What was and what might be

Its been a while since i Blogged, there is a reason for this and ill try to explain, as of late a major upset in my life happened, I dropped out of collage. It is entirely my fault and in someways i knew i was going to have to write about it and admit that in a sense i failed. I have been struggling with that fact for the last few weeks, every way i looked at it it was a failure on my part that i could not justify, but the realization of why i did this and why I had to do this has finally come to pass and i feel i can write about it now

I look back on my time at Mary Immaculate college and realize that i enjoyed the first tree months of first year and thats it, drama and issues just made the rest of the experience a bad one. Stupid drama in first year, my inability to get my head around Philosophy (a minor subject for me that turned into a major), a major illness in second year which forced me to repeat the year and the education cuts which cut my learning aids in the second year (i'm Dyslexic), this is just to name a few.

In the end though it was the philosophy that got me, i just could not get my head around it and without my aided lecture notes (i had a note taker cause my handwriting is so bad) i just struggled to much, I did fine on my History though, that is untill my own pre-occupation with writing a good essay for philosophy caused me to miss a history deadline. it was with this that i realized that i was struggling far to much, i had re-read the primary text five times, and still could not put a clear essay down. i ditched this paper and decided to write my archeology paper, this i did in a day, the philosophy had taken over a week at this point, it was the final straw for me.

So what now? well in honesty im looking at a few options, but nothing untill the new year, one is applying for UCC for a single honers history degree, the other is just getting a job (not that there are any), Other than that i hope to have a few side projects going on, i also want to get back into my writing and my art, something i have missed as of late, im even enjoying writing this. I must admit that im happier now, im still coming to terms with it but i feel with the pressure off i no longer feel like im going to crack, ive also got support in my decision from my new girl-friend (yes I went out and got myself one of them aswell) and from some close friends, the ones who's opinions i value the most.

Now that this is off my chest i hope to blog a bit more.

untill later

Welshtramp